Finding My Path: A Journey from Bulgaria to Self-Acceptance

Finding My Path: A Journey from Bulgaria to Self-Acceptance

This video encapsulates my journey from Bulgaria to self-acceptance, highlighting the struggles and realizations that have shaped my life.

I was born and raised in Bulgaria, a communist country at the time. I was almost 16 when things began shifting toward democracy—or what looked like democracy in the beginning. However, it was more about the mob grabbing power.

A significant part of my earliest journey is that during communism, we were all brainwashed and conditioned to be followers, discouraged from thinking for ourselves. In the 9th grade, I already knew where I would work for the next five years: at a telephone factory making old-fashioned telephones—products we don’t use anymore. This early experience shaped me in many ways.

I feel very blessed to have had—and still have—parents who influenced me, albeit through their own traumas. My father was particularly dismissive and did not pay attention to me. Early on, I internalized the belief that I was unlovable and unworthy of his attention and love. This belief stayed with me for over 40 years until I finally realized what was going on. I now view this experience as a blessing because it has shaped who I am today, how I show up in the world, and what I do. This struggle is my treasure, as I appreciate each of you and your own treasures shaped by wounds and scars—visible or invisible.

In 1998, at the age of 28, I immigrated to the United States. This move felt like another miracle. I had never felt like I fit in back home; I always felt different. As a child, I sensed my differences, but in my teenage years and early 20s, that feeling shifted into a sense of being fundamentally flawed. I started to travel the world, seeking belonging and understanding.

Over the next 16 years, I lived in the United States, eventually marrying a Bulgarian woman who also immigrated there. We were married for 13 years, during which I continued to feel lost and was heavily influenced by the Western ideology of chasing material success, fame, and status. None of this fulfilled me. I sought validation outside myself and faced frustration, disappointment, and depression.

In one chapter of my life, I became a competitive natural bodybuilder, a means of self-expression. I also worked as a fitness trainer and eventually transitioned to coaching. Even in fitness training, I realized that much of my work focused on mindset rather than physical training, as that’s where the real challenges lie—in identity.

My journey included starting a bakery, where I learned to bake, and opened a storefront and coffee shop. However, I sabotaged that venture due to my inadequacies and learned limitations. I also became a handgun instructor, teaching others how to shoot in Texas.

After my marriage ended, I thought I would take a couple of months in Europe to reset before returning to the U.S. That was in 2018, and I never went back. Six and a half years later, my journey led me to Malaysia, where I worked for an amazing company and met my second partner, who was European. When Covid hit, she couldn’t return to Malaysia, so I chose to come back to Europe as well. We settled in Spain and had a beautiful child together. Although we are no longer a couple, we co-parent harmoniously.

Reflecting on my geographic movement, I realize it mirrors my inner journey—a quest to find my missing parts. It took a mentor two years ago to help me realize, not just intellectually but on a heart level, that there is nothing wrong with me. He said this in front of 400 people during a group call, stating, “The reason why I’m so effective with the people I help is because I start with one truth: There is nothing wrong with anybody, and that includes you.” This was a pivotal moment for me.