Some months ago I made a decision to stop using “I’m Good”, “OK”, “I’m well”, “Fine”, etc. as an answer to the question “How are you?”
The reasons are:
1. The “How are you?” question is usually a way to say Hello or to acknowledge that one person has noticed another
2. The person asking the question is usually (secretly) hoping that the other person doesn’t really begin to answer in a direct authentic way
3. Most people (including myself), when answering this question with one of the defaults above will be outright lying… because more often than not they are not fine, or okay, or good (sometimes they are)
So here’s what I do these days:
1. I try to avoid fleeting encounters and small talk (not always successfully)
2. If I can see that the person really means (cares) to ask and receive an answer, 2A) I gauge whether the person can stop for a minute and hear my raw answer or 2B) they don’t really have the time and they need to keep going
Then in the case of…
2A. I just say “I’m blessed and grateful”, and I keep going, and they keep going
2B. I stop, I check in with what’s true for me at that moment, and I speak it into words
In both cases, I stay in integrity with my own values AND I refuse to disrespect the person by ‘feeding’ them a canned misaligned answer they don’t deserve (even if they don’t know it!)
A few words on 2A: How’s “I’m blessed and grateful” different than any of the defaults above?
I’m glad you asked.
It’s different because it’s always true for me. In other words, I do not lie when I say this. I truly believe… No! I KNOW that I’m blessed and grateful.
How do I know?
I am blessed because… the only way I can be here (in physical existence) is by way of pure MIRACLE! I also know that I am loved beyond measure by energies I cannot even comprehend with my limited human mind.
And, I am grateful… well, it takes me half an hour each morning to list all the reasons I am so lucky – amazing people, places, body temple that serves me so well, roots (family) that love me unconditionally, and on and on. Again, it takes me 30 mins minimum.
So, I know all the ways I’m blessed, lucky, in gratitude and appreciation.
Why am I writing about all this?
1. I guess I felt like publicly celebrating myself for stepping deeper and deeper into truth and respect for self and others
2. I guess I’m hoping to inspire at least one person to look deeper into how they can show up in more alignment, integrity, truth
3. I desire to make a point about my default energy of gratitude and appreciation (below)
Quickly now… I ought to admit that not long ago I wasn’t living in this energy. In truth, at one point I was deep into victim energy. The interesting part is this: the things that today I am grateful for… most of them I had back then.
But I was too focused on the few things that weren’t going well. I was giving these few things all my energy. And, I was experiencing myself in ways that I didn’t like.
Yes, things changed, but in retrospect, I went ahead of things changing by way of changing my perspective first.
And, who knows but… maybe that’s why things changed, and…