My default setting was “struggle”

None of the following is wrong…

  • Excessive self-doubt
  • Lack of direction, confusion
  • Deteriorating relationships
  • Negative money patterns
  • Lack of fulfillment in life
  • Consistent self-sabotage

Again, none of this is wrong. It’s just not useful to live a life that’s afflicted by one or more of the above (usually more than one).

The good news is this can be changed even if it seems impossible now, even if you’ve done it all your life.

All it takes is to expose certain thinking patterns that are creating these outcomes (it’s your brain that’s creating both what you want and what you DON’T WANT).

When I was a child I believed that I was special, that I can be anybody I wanted to be. Everything I tried was easy… even too easy.

That changed dramatically in my teens. Not only did stop feeling special – I started to believe that all my earlier beliefs were a fantasy and a big lie.

New “truths” about who I was and what was possible for me took place.

I became mediocre. I felt not worthy. I learned to believe that I don’t deserve. I learned that struggle is my default setting.

And, I knew that I was not special.

I spent the next three decades self-sabotaging to be consistent with my “truth”.

I was a massage therapist in my 20’s. I (subconsciously) made sure I struggled.

I became a fitness trainer. Although my relative successes as a bodybuilding competitor I was an average trainer which was perfectly matching my non-deserving self-concept (I didn’t deserve money and success).

I tried modeling and acting. I didn’t make it (because after all I was not special and I didn’t deserve success).

I opened a small bakery and a restaurant business. 3.5 years into it I “failed” and closed it down (it had to be consistent with my self-concept of being unworthy, mediocre, and struggling)

I was married for 13 years. My marriage ended because my default condition was to struggle – and I had to keep self-sabotaging… even my marriage.

If I had known what I know today I wouldn’t have gone through three decades of (self-afflicted) struggle and suffering.

(Though if I could go back I wouldn’t change anything – it is why I am who I am today!)

Here’s what I know today:

– My thoughts and beliefs create my results in life. Nothing else does!

– I can get qualified help to discover my subconscious (unknown to me) default inner “truths”, causing consistent self-sabotage

– I can learn to be aware of what I automatically think and how I automatically feel (my habits and automatic behaviors)

– I can learn to think and feel differently – and believe that!

– AND I can do all of that consistently and long enough until it becomes my new default way of being (my new self-concept)

If you are in a similar situation to the one I was in know that there’s nothing wrong with you, with what has or hasn’t happened, and with how you feel about yourself and life.

It’s all okay. And, it’s all a precursor to massive growth – not a sentence!

I am proof of that.

And, I’m not the only one. Many have gone through a similar journey and have learned to make life work for them instead of against them (Everything is just a perspective – and life simply matches that perspective!).

I want to leave you with this USEFUL thought:

“Things can change in an instant. And you are always one thought away from that happening!”

Much love –


P.S. When you are ready to let go of your subconscious inner “truths” of self-sabotage, and learn to think and believe differently – even if you think it’s impossible because “this is who you are” – I can help you with that.