10 lessons from “surviving” (many of) my inadequacies

I am talking to those who are like me…

These people have always known deep inside that they were born for bigger things.

But, just like me not long ago, they find themselves playing small, knowing painfully well that they have thus far seriously under-utilized their big potential.

And, they feel this high pressure on the inside – too high to endure for much longer.

I felt exactly like that in 2016, and I was 42 at the time.

I remember the despair I was in. I literally felt abandoned by the universe.

I was questioning everything. I was even questioning if this internal knowing I always had that I was born for more. I was starting to think that it was a lie after all… And, that I was destined to live a life of mediocrity and average-ness.

This was a very painful period of my life. That’s when I hired my first 1-on-1 coach. I paid $5K for 3 months of coaching – that’s how desperate I was to find the truth.

The questions I had were: Was I really meant for more, for something bigger? Or was it all in my imagination and I should finally accept that I am just a limited and average human being after all – and that’s the life I am destined to live until my last day.

Honestly, I respect, honor, and love my journey. And, I would not go back and change any part of it – not for a million bucks.

(After all, the reason why I am who I am today is exactly because I went through exactly what I went through.)

Nonetheless, I still have these thoughts…

I wish I knew back then that:

  1. Only my thoughts create my results (or lack of results) and nothing else!
  2. My circumstances are neutral. It’s the meaning I give them that determines which way I go (or stay)
  3. Life will ask me repeatedly to look into – and transcend – the areas where I am still not free. And that’s what life really is about!
  4. I have self-sabotaging patterns and I simply keep repeating them (it’s not destiny – it’s me still surviving my own OLD FEARS)
  5. These patterns are almost entirely formed as a result of adaptations to circumstances in my childhood that I didn’t have a reasonable way of explaining at the time
  6. My limiting beliefs don’t define me. They are just thoughts that have become easy to think, and I can teach my brain how to think USEFUL thoughts
  7. Nobody is “special-er” than me. I was not born “less than” – these were NOT my factory settings! I am NOT “damaged goods”!
  8. There’s nothing wrong with me (there’s nothing wrong with anybody) other than my thoughts about myself in relation to life – what’s possible or not possible for me, and how I fit in this world
  9. I don’t have to “deserve” to breathe and be alive. My WORTH as a human being is inherent, and it has NOTHING to do with my VALUE as a human being
  10. Ultimately, I am not going to die if I let go of my smallness that’s entirely based on fear, excessive self-doubt, and shame – and show up fully (though my Ego thinks that I will die every time I’m about to step into the “unfamiliar”)

Again, I had to go through my own challenges and that’s how I learned all of this.

(There are still challenges but from a different character – there will always be challenges.)

It has taken me 6 years so far to discover and begin to embody all of this.

I also know that I am not the only one who has felt that way (playing small and feeling the internal pressure from knowing what’s possible). I know there are many.

That’s why I want to continue spreading this message to those who have felt like I felt.

The message is this:

It is not a lie! You WERE born for something bigger. Your “smallness” is a learned adaptation – and you can un-learn it!

All you have to do is to switch off the autopilot and take over YOUR OWN THOUGHTS!

But, you have to do that with CONFIDENCE and COMMITMENT, with a level of resolve like never before in your life (taking over a brain that has gained momentum in its fear-based survival thoughts is not easy).

The great news is that there are millions of others who have figured out how to stop playing small and instead step fully into their huge and still untapped potential.

Get help. No need to try to figure it out on your own. Or worse – to live in despair and resignation!

If my energy speaks to your being – reach out. I can help you create the necessary mindset shifts after which it will be the most natural thing for you to live the life that you were truly meant to live.

Or reach out to someone else who you truly resonate with.

But, get the help and support so that you can break through your own limiting mindset.

Much love –

Ivan