You think something went wrong with you in your 40s. The questions that had no answers. The confusion that wouldn’t resolve. The identity that suddenly felt like quicksand. You weren’t malfunctioning. You were in the Tunnel. Here’s what actually happened: For years, you shaped yourself around what others needed. Your parents. Your partner. Your career….
I spent decades thinking it was my job to make myself happy. I was “trained” that way by society and culture (probably as you have been). The responsibility was exhausting. The guilt for failing at it – almost constant. I wasn’t happy even half the time. And I thought something was fundamentally wrong with me…
From about 40 to 45, I was confused. Not just “having a rough patch” confused – but questioning everything: my choices, my values, my purpose, who I even was. I tried to go back to the achievement path that had worked before. Couldn’t. I tried to figure out what was next. Couldn’t do that either….
For more than a decade, I carried this low-grade pressure that I was failing at consciousness work. I had desires. I was (and I am) deeply attached to my son. I wanted to engage with the material world, not renounce it. And every spiritual tradition I encountered seemed to say the same thing: detach, withdraw,…
I’ve been sitting with a question I can’t shake: what if the separation we feel from others – especially people we’ve hurt or loved – isn’t actually real? Not as some abstract philosophy thing. As something practical. Something that changes how you show up in conflict, in relationships, in everyday life. So I’ve been exploring…
Last night I was walking by the sea and something hit me. For years – no… more than a decade – I’ve felt like something was wrong with me. Not just for asking questions like “What’s the meaning of life?” but for not having satisfying answers. Especially for not knowing the Truth with a capital…
My son is three and a half. He’s just starting to figure out how life works. And there’s something I desperately want him to know – something my father never told me, something I didn’t discover until I was 50. This isn’t abstract philosophy. It’s about what carries you through decades of feeling like you’re…
This is how radical it is. The mind simply wants to capitulate. Truth (capital T) can be known only by experience. Experience is private and non-reproducible. Talking about an experience is not the experience. Therefore, you can know Truth, but you can never talk or write about it. I’m trying to make the point that…
Everything and anything I can point to is a part of the dream. Everything that can NOT be known is a part of the dream. Everything you can “get” is a part of the dream Everything I say here is a part of the dream. What is “the dream”? What you call your life. Ok….