You cannot out-action your way out of being stuck and struggling.
There are two ways people go when they are struggling:
- Resignation
- Forcing their way out
What I said at the very top applies to the 2nd category of people.
Here’s why “forcing” your way out is probably your default – and only – way to try to change your circumstances: because we live in a global culture that promotes “doing”, muscling your way to what you want.
Taking constant action and forcing was how I also used to do things.
It felt like I was fighting life all the time. And I could never say that life was ‘cooperating’ with me.
Here’s why trying to out-do your way out of your current struggle doesn’t work – because:
- Action doesn’t create – or change – circumstances. Action is simply the EFFECT through which the CAUSE is being made visible (the cause = your thoughts and the meaning you give to what happens + how you feel about what happens)
- Action that comes from the same way of thinking will simply re-create more of the same circumstances
- “Forcing” is an expression of not being okay with how things are — and wanting/having to/needing to change them. The universe isn’t responding well to that approach
I’ll share with you what I’ve discovered on my journey of learning to cooperate with life instead of resisting and fighting life…
How to get out of being stuck and struggling (in any area of life):
- Stop fighting life.
- Stop interpreting your circumstances as more evidence of how you are not doing it right, how you are not meant for this (whatever that is), how you are doomed to struggle, etc.
- Stop trying to out-action your way out of this. It’s exhausting.
- Start observing your mental chatter and notice the thoughts that are inspired by fear, doubt, frustration, and desperation. Acknowledge them, and transmute them into thoughts that are aligned with (and supportive of) what you want to make of your life
- Stay with it for as long as it takes (circumstances take time to realign themselves to reflect your updated frequency)
The most important part to understand is this:
How you’ve ‘done’ life so far and the decisions you’ve made or not made do NOT make you wrong or a bad person.
Forcing your way through life does NOT make you wrong or a bad person.
Doing all of this for decades does NOT make you wrong or a bad person.
All of it – ALL OF IT – is a part of being human.
And if it took you decades (like it took me) to realize this, to learn to love the consequences of living in a way that’s exhaustive and frustrating, and to step into responsibility and commitment to influence change in a collaborative non-resistant way — so what?!
You are not here to compete with others or try to do it how others have done it.
You are here to evolve at your own pace…
Your journey has been very finely curated just for YOU!
So love all of it – including the suckage, the stuckness, and the struggle.
Stop fighting and muscling your way out (you are only digging yourself deeper into a hole).
Start cooperating with yourself as an aspect of this amazing universe.
And if you would like my support with any of this – reach out. I can help you collapse the time it takes to move from being stuck and struggling, ‘forcing’ and resisting to cooperating with life and seeing the results reflected back to you by your upgraded life circumstances.
Much love –
Ivan