The BIG 5 of allowing things to happen almost effortlessly

By Ivan Nikolov

I was thinking today about the times in my life when I wanted something substantial, or I had a big goal, and it happened almost effortlessly.

The times when things happened this effortless way are far less in my life than the times when…

  • things I wanted didn’t happen, or
  • things I wanted did happen, but it felt as if I was “twisting the arms” of the Universe trying to “make” things happen – with the result of a lot of effort, massive resistance to overcome…

And when things finally happened it was difficult to maintain them that way – they just wanted to return to their prior un-forced condition.

Here’s what I found out when I compared the “effortless way” vs the “resistance way” or “didn’t happen at all way”:

The Big 5

1 -> Obsessive VISION but loosely held

I really, really desired what I wanted but I wasn’t so attached to it that if it didn’t happen it will destroy me. Or I will feel incomplete or diminished in some way. It was a very clean desire – like an obsession without clinging.

2 -> The only big DESIRE at the time

I recalled that whatever objective I had it was the only big objective at the time. My attention wasn’t fractured into many desires that I would give top priority to. Only one desire, only one top priority.

3 -> I didn’t DOUBT it will happen

I simply knew it will happen one way or another. I wasn’t attached to HOW it will happen or HOW exactly it must look. I simply wanted – and was living into – (pay attention to this) how I would feel when it happened.

4 -> I wasn’t APOLOGIZING for what I desired

I wasn’t worrying about inconveniencing others with my requests. I wasn’t apologizing for what I wanted. I didn’t stay in anybody’s way. But, there was not even an ounce of apology about my desire and my staying firm on my way towards it.

5 -> I didn’t have to take all the ACTION

In fact, others took action on my vision more often than I did. This is very important! I didn’t live in the illusion that if my desire were to happen I MUST TAKE ALL THE ACTION to make it happen.

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