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The qualities of a good Coach

By Ivan Nikolov

What makes someone a good coach?

Do you feel deep on the inside that you are called to help others discover their bigger potential?

Do you feel you are here to liberate others from their pain and guide them to higher levels of freedom?

Do you feel that you are called to be a coach for others?Enter your text here...

And, do you also feel like you are not ready... yet?

In other words, you don't feel confident that you are a coach?

You feel the impostor syndrome. You feel like a scam.

It's a painful place to be in, to be honest: You "know" that you are a coach and... you lack confidence in your abilities and skills.

And, your narrative goes: "I must read this book about coaching and then I'll be ready." (Replace "book" with course, seminar, training, program, certification, etc.)

I know this pain. I've been there... for a long time.

I no longer experience myself that way.

What did it take?

It took telling myself the truth, becoming clear about what skills I need. And the rest of it is...

Practice, practice, practice (or call it training, skill development).

Am I there? Have I arrived?

Hell, no. I will be learning, practicing, developing new skills, polishing my existing skills for the rest of my life. This work is never done!

The "beginner's mind", you know?!

So, where does confidence come from? What are the base-level skills and abilities of a good coach (I like the term "guide" instead)?

Let's get going with a good initial list...

Skills + Abilities of a great coach

Baseline Level...

-Rich life experiences
-Having solved at least some of your own crap successfully (deff. in the area you're helping someone else)
-Authenticity, honesty, realness, humility
-Compassion, empathy, care, concern
-Genuine true curiosity and pure fascination
-Deep understanding of the human condition
-Understanding of motivation and the flavors of motivation (motivation that moves, motivation that doesn't move)
-Understanding of brain plasticity and mind expansion
-Ability to see someone where even they cannot see themselves yet
-Patience
-Full acceptance and unconditional love (hard, but a must!)

Next level (abilities and skills)...

-Ability to ground yourself and set an intention (the energy of the co-creation depends on that)
-Ability to be present and aware
-Ability to listen deeply and non-judgmentally (keeping your ego out of the way)
-Ability to hold space and stay in silence (even long silence)
-The skill to ask and guide through deep open-ended questions (including what open-ended questions to avoid asking)
-The skill to summarize, recap, reflect back, mirror, label
-Ability to elicit confidence in your client
-Confidence (trusting your own skill and abilities)

Notice, there's no telling, giving answers, or solving problems anywhere here. That's not what a coach does. That's what a consultant does.

A coach is a guide and a leader, a visionary, a humble and imperfect human being... but with solid confidence in her/his own abilities and skill level!

And, some of it is just richness of life.

But, most of it is training, skill development, and practice x 3. Plain and simple!

So, if you "know" that you are a leader of others by calling, you know you are meant to be a coach, where are you on this? What skills are you still lacking? What must you go to work on to build your own confidence?

Drop it in the comments below.
. . .
As always... Remember who you are. It's time!Enter your text here...

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