Earlier today I ran into a nice lady in our local community gym. She did not look in great shape, but she seemed very determined. I saw that she was working out somewhat intensely and also logging everything she did after each set in a log sheet with the title ‘Bodybuilding.com’.
I asked her whether she is following an exercise routine downloaded from BB.com. That was just a way for me to get a conversation started. See, I sincerely admire people who are willing to put the effort into bettering themselves – be it by investing in their health, be it by investing in their education, be it by finding another of a million of ways to become better in some way. I genuinely want to learn about these people and about what drives them.
And, when I learn enough, if I am in a position to offer my opinion or advice, and if the situation makes it appropriate, I may do (I not always do even if that’s the case).
Long story short, I learned about this person’s goals, and I felt that her goals were threatened, I decided to keep quiet.
Here is another story. My wife has started and stopped training for so may times that when a couple months ago she told me that she is starting on a program again I decided not to get excited at all. I also decided that I will be very gentle and very supportive even if that meant that she is slipping again and it won’t last this time again (by the way she looks like she works out daily – good genes, I guess).
But although my decision I still didn’t know very well why she wasn’t sticking to her routine and was falling off the wagon time and time again. I thought about it then and over the period of several sessions I told her things that she’s never before expected to hear from me. I used to sound very differently years ago when I was a trainer in the gym.
Here is what I told my wife (and it’s what I would have told this young lady today):
Forget about strict routines and rules – go to the gym as often as you feel you should. If that means six times a week this week and only once next week that’s totally fine. They key is not to make it an obligation. I believe it’s in human nature to want to resist obligations and vice versa – to be able to handle well things when they are optional.
Forget about strict rules in the gym – this muscle group with that one, so many minutes rest between sets, don’t train the same muscle group on subsequent days, etc. Again, the key is not to be obligated to follow a pre-set routine. If you have the option to alter your routine in any way you want it will be that much easier to remain consistent. And, honestly, after 23+ years in the gym I have come to believe that oftentimes breaking the conventional rules gives you the best results. I am a proof of that. For the last several years I train intuitively – I do what I like and what I feel like doing, when I feel like doing it. I’m happy.
Set a realistic goal. This is a common knowledge advice – I realize that. But, I still so many people who, although claiming that they’ve carefully considered their goals and timelines, actually are far from reality. Again, I’ve spent quite a few years in gym settings, trained with quite a few people, have examined and have helped set quite a few wellness goals, … and have personally misjudged quite a few of my own goals, to know when a goal and its deadline are off by a good margin.
Give yourself permission to be a human. Nothing dangerous if you feel weak. Nothing life-threatening if you, while at the door of your home, are contemplating the option not to go exercise.. and find yourself strongly leaning toward not going.
Don’t abuse the above permission. It shouldn’t work that way as generally simply giving yourself the option to be a human means that (in my belief) you will rarely resort to actually using it. But, nonetheless, we forewarned. My rule #3 doesn’t give you ‘permission’ to abuse the permission. Most people won’t, but some need the special warning.
Stick to it for at least 3 + 1 weeks. It’s said that it takes three weeks to form a new habit (or un-learn an old habit). I say give it an extra week as insurance. After week 4 you should be much less likely to consider breaking rule #4.. At least that’s what we know about how things work with forming new neurological pathways.
There. My $0.02.