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True story about a man who made a choice to continue to suffer...
About a month ago I spoke with a man who had all the reasons to do absolutely great in life
Besides the good money he was making he was miserable (he still is because that's what he ultimately chose)...
Pain is not foreign to me. I feel pain often... in fact, daily... sometimes multiple times a day
But, I don't stay with the pain... Staying with the pain is called "suffering".
I refuse to suffer when someone CHOOSES to continue suffering. The reason: because I cannot do anything for them other than to respect their CHOICE.
I cannot change people. I can only support them to the best of my ability if, and when, they CHOOSE to change.
Back to the story...
So, this man (who is actually younger than me) shared with me that...
- He knows he was meant for something greater but he keeps justifying being where he is (out of fear)
- He is afraid of action
- His life is "not working the way it should"
- He isn't harnessing his inner energies
- He isn't doing the soul search that he knows he should be doing (he is afraid to face his deeper truths)
- His kids suffer because he is a "crappy dad" (his words)
- He has no deep connections with other people - only superficial, surface connections
- Fears and phobias hold him back in life
In other words, he is stuck, miserable, utterly unfulfilled... and his family - his closest people on the planet suffer too, as a result.
And, this is what he shared that he really wants...
- To make a difference in the lives of other people
- To give his kids "the dad they deserve"
- To be the husband that he feels he should be (but isn't)
Listen, there's nothing far out of the ordinary in his story.
In fact, many people find themselves in a similar situation.
I, in the past, had my own crap that partially overlapped with what he shared with me!
So, that's not the drama.
The real DRAMA is this:
When I invited him to step onto the path to his dreams this is what he said:
"It's VERY hard to commit to this first step. I will reach out again when I know I am ready."
That's the drama - the conscious CHOICE to stay the same because of inability to face one's own fears and self-imposed limitations.
He will most likely never be ready because of this pattern of being afraid of the unknown, because of being careless with how he treats his time on this planet (a non-renewable resource), because if ignoring the pain (his own and the pain of his kids and spouse).
Ultimately, because of his inability to make a DECISION and to commit to his greatness!
. . .
Remember where I talked about pain and suffering up at the top?
Well, it pains me to see this kind of thing happen to people.
It pains me badly to see people CHOOSING not to live to their full potential.
I refuse the suffering, though, that I would be in if I were to have "expectations" from others and to have an attachment to their outcome in life.
I've chosen not to be attached, to respect people's CHOICE whatever it ultimately ends up being.
My only role in life is to help people see that they have a CHOICE.
And, then I respect the choice they make.
I feel pain often... even daily - because I see people making the CHOICE to remain where they are at daily.
That said, my mission is complete once I help someone see that they do in fact have a CHOICE.
. . .
I bet that you, too, know someone who is like the person I just described, who regardless of their awareness that they are CHOOSING mediocrity, pain, suffering (both - for themselves and for the people they love the most) they are still making the CHOICE to stay the same.
I bet that you know people like that.
They are the majority... sadly!
Me? I can't stop thinking about this "seeing your entire life" play out in front of your eyes at the end of your life - when there's nothing you can do to go back and change things...
And, the regrets...
That's what I personally am afraid of. That's my biggest FEAR...
The FEAR of having regrets... when it's too late to CHOOSE differently.