Shame and Guilt are the lowest frequencies a human being can experience, lower even than fear and anger.
Shame and Guilt are painfully familiar to me as they are to many… maybe to you as well.
Shame and Guilt felt almost indistinguishable to me for the longest time. That is until I understood how they are different. They are closely related but still different in one significant way.
Here’s one very important thing to know about Shame – the lowest frequencies of all: Shame is different from Remorse. Shame does not originate in the person experiencing it. It’s not theirs.
The majority of us have experienced shame repeatedly very early in our childhood (before one year old) not because of something we did but because we felt it was something we did.
How are Shame and Guilt related? Guilt (as related to shame) is a compensatory response to the experience of shame.
To a young child who has experienced shame, guilt is in a way “a demonstration of ownership of what has just happened”. Its purpose is to help the child keep the connection to the person who (often unconsciously) shamed them.
It goes something like this: “Experiencing guilt for what happened I a demonstration of ownership of what happened which takes the blame off my caregiver – which makes it less likely for me to be rejected (safety)”.
I’m sharing this because many people (just like me in the past) are living daily predominantly in the energy of Shame. And, that is so damn heavy!
If you are one of those people (or if you are one who’s in a position to help others) it’s good to remember that
1) Shame isn’t related to anything one did, and
2) Guilt is a survival strategy that is used to increase the chances of being accepted – both in childhood and in adult life
Comment below with your thoughts after reading this.
Also share this article with someone who is having challenges with experiencing Shame and Guilt so they can understand it for themselves, and hopefully find more peace.