The incredible treasures I’m taking with me from Mission 1000. If I could go back I would still do it.
A few days ago I shared in a post why decided to discontinue Mission 1000 (my commitment to gift one thousand 30-min coaching sessions in 500 days) after having gifted 305 coaching sessions.
That post is very insightful – especially for other coaches and mentors – it contains everything I learned about giving coaching for free – what it meant to me and what it meant to others.
If you haven’t read this post read it before you read this one. Here it is.
So now onto what I’m taking away which I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I am a much, much better coach, mentor, and guide with a much deeper understanding of the human mind because of Mission 1000.
I want to point out that the take-aways, learnings, and wisdom below were strongly influenced and accelerated by Mission 1000 but they are not solely a result of my Mission 1000 experiment. They are also are a result of:
- My previous knowledge and skills that I brought to the table when I started Mission 1000
- My work with my premium 1-on-1 clients and group clients all along Mission 1000
- My own reflections, self-study, and healing during the time of Mission 1000
- My life experience that allowed these reflections and learnings
In a way, Mission 1000 was my lab where I got to test, experiment, learn more, heal more, then text and experiment more – in an accelerated fashion.
Alright. Here it goes (in “me” to “we” fashion)…
THE WISDOM THAT MISSION 1000 BROUGHT (And why I am immensely grateful and appreciative)
- CONFIDENCE. My confidence in my skills to “hear” what’s not said and to “diagnose” the unspoken (and often unconscious) real problem grew rapidly and to a degree that even I didn’t expect. I knew my skills will improve but I didn’t know how fast that happens when one is exposed to all kinds of problems brought to the table by hundreds of fundamentally different human beings
- SPEED. The speed and accuracy in getting to the real problem – “the problem beneath the known problem” – increased as my confidence grew. “The problem beneath the known problem” comes from the difference between the presenting problem which is known to the person and is actually the symptom from a deeper problem (unknown) that’s causing the presenting problem as an adaptive behavior (more on adaptation below)
- A WINDOW IN ONE’S SOUL. These 305 pro bono sessions provided “a window” in people’s souls. I could clearly witness the disparities between how people presented themselves publicly (how they want to be seen) and how people actually are when they are provided with a safe space to be vulnerable and raw
- WHAT WE TRULY WANT. The 305 sessions allowed me to learn experientially that what each one of us wants at the most fundamental level is TO BE SEEN! We don’t want to be in pain and suffering. And, we all want to be acknowledged in our existence, to belong, to be loved.
- WE ARE ALL SCARED. I learned that underneath all the layers of pretense we are all the same in that we are all little scared children on the inside
- HEALING. I learned that healing begins with acceptance, acknowledgment, holding, and nurturing of our own inner scared child
- ADULT SUFFERING SOURCES. I learned to quickly diagnose if a person is stuck in an unreconciled past, or a frustrated present or future, based on the predominant emotions they harbor and usually conceal well (anger, resentment, frustration, resignation, anxiety, worry, etc.)
- PROBLEMS IN THE PAST. I learned that most people’s problems are stemming from an unreconciled past
- TRAUMA, ADAPTATION, AND COMPENSATION. My own understanding of the sources and the depth of hurt and pain and trauma (any negative emotional learning) grew immensely. What I now understand (very important if you are a coach!) is that not-enoughness, excessive neediness and seeking of attention, avoidance, disconnect, social anxiety, perfectionism, dysfunctional relationships and sabotage, being controlling and manipulative, being angry or aggressive – are ALL subconsciously-guided self-protective behaviors, largely formed as adaptations and compensatory mechanisms to the inherent need to survive and self-protect.
- WE MOSTLY DON’T HAVE A CHOICE. I learned that practically all people are most of the time compensating for insecurities and inadequacies. In this sense, the saying “You have a choice” is largely inaccurate. “Choice” implies a conscious process. Most of the time people don’t have a choice since their actions (or inactions) are driven subconsciously. Instead people mostly “react” based on their unconscious, programmed, and survival-inspired scripts and patterns
- PRETENDING, HIDING, AND SUFFERING ALONE. I learned that most people are (subconsciously) doing everything they can to hide that they are in pain, thinking that they are alone and unique in their suffering. This in turn creates a sense of separation and an overwhelming sense of aloneness.
- THE NEED FOR ATTENTION. I learned that the more a person is hurting on the inside the more they are striving for attention. Basically, what’s happening is they are trying to fill a void by seeking external validation. And, this void can never be filled that way – not by anything external
- FEAR STILL RULES. I learned that we live in a world that’s unfortunately still largely governed by fear. This is now easy for me to understand – since most of us carry wounds from our past, and at the very core we are all scared little children, fear easily “connects” to that part of us that’s constantly trying to survive. That’s the reason why fear is the tool for control and manipulation
That’s what I came up with so far. I can unpack any of these points into a whole article. And, I will in the future. But for now, this is enough.
Once again, Mission 1000 taught me far more than I could have imagined. I learned about myself, I healed, and I deepened my skills in helping others.
I am in appreciation for all I gained from this experience. I am immensely humbled and in deep appreciation for everything that we all get to go through in a lifetime.
Thank you to all who participated. I appreciate your gift.